The key to a wonderful holiday season for someone living with dementia is routine, routine, routine!

The holidays are upon us and despite the perfect picture you sometimes see on television, this particular time of year is often fraught with not so perfect moments, particularly if a family member is living with dementia.

People living with memory impairments thrive on routine, and that can sometimes be overlooked during the busy holiday season. The routine you may have helped to create makes them feel comfortable and safe. Keeping that routine as much as possible, even during the holidays, is important for the entire family. A Springpoint at Home Aging Life Care Advisor™/Care Manager can help you think through how to best structure the holidays and how to approach family members with these changes.

Let’s think about a typical normal day. Breakfast is at 9:00 am, followed by a bit of time watching TV or doing an activity. After lunch, a brief nap at 1:30 pm followed by a walk will take them through the day until dinner at about 5:30 pm. Mealtimes are often different during the holidays, but keeping them to the same daily routine is important. It may mean you are better off with brunch, or having the big meal at lunchtime instead of dinner as everyone is used to doing.

If everyone expects things to stay traditionally the same, like gathering for one big celebration, it’s important to determine if that’s something the person living with dementia can handle. Or will they find it overwhelming? If so, it’s time to break the large holiday party into smaller, more intimate get togethers that are easier for you and the person with the memory impairment.

The option of going out for a holiday meal may also no longer be possible. Having a potluck dinner, instead of having just one person doing all the cooking, is one way to make the holidays less stressful. If being in a new environment makes the person living with dementia uncomfortable, then having everyone over to your home in smaller groups may be the best way to help keep them calm and maintain the structure of a normal day.

Because routine is so key, it’s important that you make these important adjustments as needed, despite what others may think. If not, you may find yourself dealing with difficult behaviors in the weeks following the holidays. The person living with dementia may find it hard to get back into a routine and feel safe.

Because changing treasured holiday traditions can be a point of contention amongst family members, it’s important that you help them understand the reasons for the change. Now is the time to set a boundary and not wait for permission for the changes you and your loved one need.

It’s best to start the discussion about making these changes to the holiday season as early as possible. This can be done in person or over the phone, but the best may be a letter. This allows people to absorb and think about the changes without immediately getting into an emotional discussion. In the letter, explain what is going on with the family member right now. Include a description of your routine and why it is important to keep it. Briefly describe all the physical, mental, and emotional changes to help prepare family members for the visit. It’s also important to help family members anticipate and understand what has changed. It may be the inability for your loved one to sit too long, so they may walk away in the middle of a conversation. Tastes may change over time, and that treasured family apple pie may no longer be a favorite, so please don’t feel insulted.

The more you can keep your routine the same and the better family members are prepared for changes to the holiday and changes they may see in the person living with dementia, the better off everyone will be.

For more information on how Springpoint at Home can help, please call 844-724-1777.